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WIT & WISDOM - November 24, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. Nor undermine another's worth by comparison with any other. . . It is because we are different that each of us is special. [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Reverend Chalfant tells of a couple who were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. The husband was asked what the secret was to his successful marriage. As the elderly are wont to do, the old gentleman answered with a story. His wife, Sarah, was the only girl he ever dated. He grew up in an orphanage and worked hard for everything he had. He never had time to date until Sarah swept him off his feet. Before he knew it she had managed to get him to ask her to marry him. After they had said their vows on their wedding day, Sarah's father took the new groom aside and handed him a small gift. He said, "Within this gift is all you really need to know to have a happy marriage." The nervous young man fumbled with the paper and ribbon until he got the package unwrapped. Within the box lay a large gold watch. With great care he picked it up. Upon close examination he saw etched across the face of the watch a prudent reminder he would see whenever he checked the time of day . . . words that, if heeded, held the secret to a successful marriage. They were, "Say something nice to Sarah." By Morris Chalfant, Retold by Marilyn K. McAuley from A 4th Course of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Copyright 1997 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Hanoch McCarty & Meladee McCarty [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: MISTLETOE AT THE AIRPORT It was slightly before Thanksgiving. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood. Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointier parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way. With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant, "Even if I were not married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe." "Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is." (pause) "Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale, which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss." "That's not why it's there." (pause) "Ok, I give up. Why is it there?" "It's there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye." [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A Radio interview I heard a year or two ago. An American and a UK journalist were discussing Thanksgiving. The American asked if we celebrated Thanksgiving in the UK. "Yes," the UK guy replied, "but we celebrate it on the 6th of September." "Why then?" "That's when they left." [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Why isn't the country called "The United States of Columbus"? No vote was taken in naming the continents of North and South America, a committee wasn't formed to come up with the most appropriate name, and no magazine held a naming contest. The Americas were named after Amerigo Vespucci, an explorer who reached South America a few years after Columbus's first voyage. Upon learning of the trip, a German mapmaker named Martin Waldseemuller - who seems to have thought that Vespucci was the first to discover the land - named it "America" in his honor. By the time people realized the injustice done to Columbus, the mapmaker's name stuck and it was too late. Maybe it's just as well. After all, Columbus went to his grave insisting that he found a new route to India, while Vespucci realized that he landed on a new continent. Source: HOW DID THEY DO THAT? by Caroline Sutton [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] ("This and That" [2] (Chicken Soup for the Soul [3] (Just 4 Laughs! Http://www.GeoCities.com/Hollywood/Set/6993) [4] ("Be Thankful It's Monday. . ." [5] (http://www.MailBits.com/Trivia) |