| Prior Date | Back to Archive Index | Next Date |
|
WIT & WISDOM - November 25, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds." - Orison Swett Marden (Founder of Success Magazine) [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: HOW TO OBSERVE THANKSGIVING. . . Count your blessings instead of your crosses; Count your gains instead of your losses. Count your joys instead of your woes; Count your friends instead of your foes. Count your smiles instead of your tears; Count your courage instead of your tears. Count your full years instead of your lean; Count your kind deeds instead of your mean. Count your health instead of your wealth; Count on God instead of yourself. [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THE TURKEY SHOT OUT OF THE OVEN By Jack Prelutsky The turkey shot out of the oven and rocketed into the air, it knocked every plate off the table and partly demolished a chair. It ricocheted into a corner and burst with a deafening boom, then splattered all over the kitchen, completely obscuring the room. It stuck to the walls and the windows, it totally coated the floor, there was turkey attached to the ceiling, where there'd never been turkey before. It blanketed every appliance, It smeared every saucer and bowl, there wasn't a way I could stop it, that turkey was out of control. I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure, and thought with chagrin as I mopped, that I'd never again stuff a turkey with popcorn that hadn't been popped. [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Thanksgiving day was approaching and the family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on their way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing: "The Pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh yeah?" her young grandson replied, "so why is their dad carrying that rifle?" [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: An elephant's trunk is thought to contain about 40,000 muscles. By comparison, the entire human body has about 650 muscles. The trunk is an elongation of the elephant's upper lip and nose, and is about 7 feet (2 m) long and weighs about 300 pounds (140 kg). It is covered with sensory hairs that help the elephant to determine the shape, texture, and temperature of objects. Elephants use their trunks for a variety of tasks: picking up food and water, smelling, and communicating. The trunk acts as a kind of combination nose, hand, and arm, and has two prehensile finger like tips for grasping. Elephants can use their trunks both to lift heavy objects and to pluck a single blade of grass. To learn more about elephants, visit http://www.oaklandzoo.org/atoz/azeleph.html [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (Inspiration a Day! [2] (Granny's Funnies http://members.aol.com/grannyx7/DGF.html ) [3] (Robert C Oshinsky via Humor Digest) [4] (Just 4 Laughs! http://www.GeoCities.com/Hollywood/Set/6993) [5] (The Learning Kingdom |