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WIT & WISDOM - December 16, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: The purpose of life is not to win. It is to grow and to share. You will get more satisfaction from the pleasure you have brought into other people's lives than you will from the times you outdid and defeated them. - Harold Kushner [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A BROTHER LIKE THAT A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it. "Is this your car, Mister?" he asked. Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn't cost you nothing? Boy, I wish. . ." He hesitated. Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels. "I wish," the boy went on, "that I could be a brother like that." Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my automobile?" Oh yes, I'd love that." After a short ride, the boy turned and with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?" Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again. "Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked. He ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car. "There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn't cost him a cent. And some day I'm gonna give you one just like it. . . then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that I've been trying to tell you about." Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride. That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when he had said: "It is more blessed to give. . . Dan Clark from Chicken Soup for the Soul, Copyright 1993 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: MORE SIGNS: At an office: "This job is only a test had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, bonuses and promotions." -Alicia Villarrea ~~~~~~~~~~ Road sign in Roosevelt, Utah: "Rest Area Next Right" - the next right leads a person right into to a cemetery. -Karen Case ~~~~~~~~~~ A sign in the local opportunity shop says, "If your going to steal, then smile for the camera." -Michael Silcock ~~~~~~~~~~ While stopped at an intersection I noticed a man standing on the corner in front of a Burger King. He was holding a sign that read "Will work for food." If he had only looked up, he would have noticed that the Burger King sign directly above him read "Now hiring." -James Kelly ~~~~~~~~~~ SEEN ON A BILLBOARD ALONG A HIGHWAY: "Caution: objects in the mirror may have flunked drivers education." -LTLRDNK [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a local good ole boy named Wilburn went in to try out for the job. "OK," the sheriff said, "what is 1 and 1?" "11," Wilburn replied. "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." "Now the last one. Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Wilburn thought really hard and finally said, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that?" the sheriff asked. So, Wilburn went home and his wife asked him how it went. Wilburn replied, "Great! He already put me on a murder case!" [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Here is a "short" fish story . . . In June 1996, Bob Ringewold, 43, was driving with a friend in Holland, Mich., when the roof of his car was dented by a 5-pound sucker fish that fell from the sky. (It had fallen from the talons of an eagle that couldn't hold it, and Ringewold took it home.) - Chuck Shepherd ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (Louise Maxwell) [2] (Chicken Soup for the Soul [3] (Joke of the Day [4] (Fast Eddie's Funnies |