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WIT & WISDOM - December 29, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: There is no possession more valuable than a good and faithful friend. - Socrates [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: In a class I teach for adults, I gave the assignment to "go to someone you love, and tell them that you love them." At the beginning of the next class, one of the students began by saying, "I was angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment. I didn't feel I had anyone to say those words to. But as I began driving home my conscience started talking. Then I knew exactly who I needed to say ‘I love you' to. Five years ago, my father and I had a vicious disagreement and never really resolved it. We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at family gatherings. We hardly spoke. So by the time I got home, I had convinced myself I was going to tell my father I loved him. "Just making that decision seemed to lift a heavy load off my chest. "At 5:30, I was at my parents' house ringing the doorbell, praying that Dad would answer the door. I was afraid if Mom answered, I would chicken out and tell her instead. But as luck would have it, Dad did answer the door. "I didn't waste any time - I took one step in the door and said, ‘Dad, I just came over to tell you that I love you.' "It was as if a transformation came over my dad. Before my eyes his face softened, the wrinkles seemed to disappear and he began to cry. He reached out and hugged me and said, ‘I love you too, son, but I've never been able to say it.' "But that's not even my point. Two days after that visit, my dad had a heart attack and is in the hospital. I don't even know if he'll make it. "So my message to all of you is this: Don't wait to do the things you know need to be done. What if I had waited to tell my dad? Take the time to do what you need to do and do it now!" From: DO IT NOW!, By Dennis E. Mannering from Condensed Chicken Soup for the Soul, Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Patty Hansen. [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: HUMOR SHORTS, CYNICAL COMMENTS & QUESTIONS A word of caution to anyone who's into magnet therapy: Don't go into a hardware store. I don't know much about drugs. I thought uppers were dentures. I have a friend with lung cancer who says he may have to give up cigarettes. And they say they are not addictive? Of course, there's now a higher percentage of seat belt users. The nonusers are slowly being killed off. The ones you see standing in line for hours to get a Beanie Baby for their kid are the same fools who want to know why their little darling isn't learning anything in school. Why? Because the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A driver tucked this note under the windshield wiper of his automobile. "I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment, and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses." When he came back he found a parking ticket and this note: "I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation." [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: The Dutch have come up with a new way of catching criminals, that's even better than fingerprints, it's called smell prints. Apparently, each of us not only has one unmistakable fingerprint and DNA, but we also have a unique scent that is identifiable. In solving a crime, the police can retrieve an article used by the perpetrator (such as a gun), and extract a smell print from the object in as little as 20 minutes. The smell can then be stored for as long as 4 years. Once a suspect is apprehended, he is asked to wash, and then handle a cloth for a few minutes. The cloth is then placed in a line up and a specially trained dog is given the original smell print to examine. The dog is then asked to identify all the smells in the line up. If the dog finds a match, he barks at the container identifying which one. To make the evidence admissible in court, the process is repeated but this time without the suspects smell. This new crime fighting tool has solved hundreds of cases in Holland, and they are now starting to archive known criminals' smells to compare against outstanding crimes. [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] ("This and That" [2] (Chicken Soup for the Soul [3] (Bill Edwards via Fast Eddie's Funnies [4] (Bill's Punch Line [5] (Keith's Mostly Clean Humor |