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WIT & WISDOM - January 12, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Do not always prove yourself to be the one in the right. The right will appear. You need only give it a chance. - C. H. Fowler [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: I don't understand Christianity, nor do I understand electricity, but I don't intend to sit in the dark until I do! [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: 1) "I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Tom said, Dolefully. 2) "That's the last time I'll ever pet a lion," Tom said, offhandedly. 3) "I'll never sleep on the railroad tracks again!" Tom said, beside himself. 4) "That's the third electric shock I've gotten this week!" Tom said, revolted. 5) "I'm never anywhere on time," Tom related. 6) "I won't let a flat tire get me down," Tom said, without despair. 7) "That car you sold me has defective steering!" Tom said, straightforwardly. 8) "I've been on a diet," Tom expounded. 9) "I'll have to send that telegram again," Tom said, remorsefully. 10) "I keep banging my head on things," Tom said, bashfully. 11) "Look at that jailbird climb down that wall," Tom observed with condescension. 12) "I remember the Midwest being flatter than this," Tom explained. 13) "That's the third time my teacher changed my grade," Tom remarked. 14) "I'll have to dig another ditch around that castle," Tom sighed, remotely. 15) "I've lived through a lot of windstorms," Tom regaled. 17) "I haven't caught a fish all day!" Tom said, without debate. 18) "That mink coat is on wrong side out," Tom inferred. [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: During a lesson in Biology, one girl whispered to another, "You know, I think the most frightening thing about heredity and environment is that our parents provide both." [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: If our world were a village of 1,000 people there would be . . . 329 Christians 178 Muslims 167 Nonreligious 132 Hindus 62 Buddhists 45 Atheists 3 Jews 84 Other Adapted from World Village Project [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (INSPIRE [2] (Kathryn Souza-Wine) [3] (ImaMom457) [4] (Jim Moore Jr via Fast Eddie's Funnies [5] (http://www.worldvillage.org) |