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WIT & WISDOM - January 13, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: There are two things to aim at in life; first, to get what you want; and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of people achieve the second. - Logan Pearsall Smith, Bits & Pieces [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Many people confuse the conviction of sin with such feelings as inferiority, lack of self-confidence and so on. Yet whoever observes people closely can see that these feelings and the conviction of sin are not only different from each other but in certain regards are mutually exclusive. A diffuse and vague guilt feeling kills the personality, whereas the conviction of sin gives life to the personality. The former depends on people, on public opinion, while the latter depends on God. The guilt feeling is related to our social formalism and its marks of esteem, which have nothing to do with the true value of a person. Hence, a guilt feeling leads to self-contempt. Conviction of sin, however, is linked to the respect of oneself as a creature of God. When I feel my sin and am shaken because of it, it is not at all because of feeling inferior to others. It is because one of God's masterpieces has become stained by sin. Thus it is that Christian experience first restores the human person, and then spreads out from person to person until it transforms society. Christianity forms leaders; it forms their convictions and conscience. By Paul Tournier, DECISION, September 1997 ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: TWISTED TITLES! Take a title (movie, book, TV show, occupation, etc) or a popular phrase, change ONE letter (only one!), and write a new subline for it. Witless For the Prosecution Marcia calls Forrest to the stand. - Sue McAllister, class of 1948, UC Berkeley. The Man without a Fact Ripley's unsuccessful brother. - Jerald Terry, class of 1959, UC Berkeley. The Laming of the Shrew Gardener gives up on poison, resorts to traps. - Art Poulin, class of 1948, UC Berkeley. A Sale of Two Cities St. Paul and Minneapolis are bought by Japanese investors. - Brenda Holloway, 05/12/98. First Lives Club Kittens dodging traffic. - Brenda Holloway, 05/12/98. Jurassic Pork Today's special: T-REX sandwich, fries and a large drink - $3.99 - Cheetah, 06/09/98. Codzilla The terror of the deep comes to destroy Atlantis once again. - Cheetah, 06/09/98. It's a Wonderful Lift Fame and fortune come to the owners of a small ski resort. - Dorsola, 06/12/98. Stream 2 Second in a series of thrilling trout fishing documentaries - Dennis LeForce, 09/16/98. [2] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: I have made it a habit with my daughter, Lyndsie (and Emily) to just out of the blue say, "Lyndsie?" and she of course answers, "What?" and then I simply say, "I love you". She just smiles and then says, "I love you too". A few seconds later, I then follow with, "Mucho, Mucho!". Well the little tike has caught on. Now whenever I say, "Lyndsie?", she immediately blurts out, "I LOVE YOU!!!". Always trying to get that extra step on the ol' man. I then say, "Well actually, I was just going to ask you how your day was", and then the conversation moves along. Until one day, this happened and I tried to move the conversation along and Lyndsie quite bluntly stated, "Now daddy, whenever you say, 'I love you', I politely tell you that I love you too. You should be polite to me too." Kick me in the pants next time. Needless to say when ever my little love takes the time to tell me that she loves me, I reciprocate immediately and from the bottom of my heart. Sometimes our conversations don't go very far beyond saying we love each other, but that is ok with me and I think it is ok with Lyndsie. - Michael Gibson, Australia [3] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Those who prefer not to hear from telemarketers should simply thank the caller for his/her professionalism and then say, "Please take me off your list." Teleservices corporations are required by federal law to maintain a record of consumers have asked to be so removed. When they download a new base of numbers to call (for whatever product or service), they are legally required to electronically sift out every person so objecting. They are expected to be able to produce their "no-call" list upon demand of federal inspectors. Furthermore, they are prohibited by law from any further sales effort when they hear the magic words: "Take me off your list," or the equivalent. [4] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] ( [2] (http://www.descent2.com/dorsola/titles_m.htm) [3] (Asa Sparks, Lyndsie's Grandpa) [4] (John Hayden, Mason, MI) |