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WIT and WISDOM - February 8, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Source: THIS AND THAT Mailto:milady@mediaone.net ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Humble me, father, to the point where I know I don't know all You have in mind. Let me come to my prayer closet with no instructions for you so I can hear Your instructions for me. Today, Lord, I choose to lay down my plans, to give up my way of working things out, and I open my heart to Your perfect plan and Your perfect way - the only way that leads to abundant life. By Elaine Creasman, Largo, Florida, Copyright 1996 ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: TRANSLATED FROM LATIN SCROLL DATED 2BC Dear Cassius: Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change from BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we haven't much time left. I don't know how people will cope with working the wrong way around. Having been working happily downwards forever, now we have to start thinking upwards. You would think that someone would have thought of it earlier and not left it to us to sort it all out at this last minute. I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius hadn't done something about it when he was sorting out the calendar. He said he could see why Brutus turned nasty. We called in Consultus, but he simply said that continuing downwards using minus BC won't work and as usual charged a fortune for doing nothing useful. Surely we will not have to throw out all our hardware and start again? Macrohard will make yet another fortune out of this I suppose. The money lenders are paranoid of course! They have been told that all usury rates will invert and they will have to pay their clients to take out loans. Its an ill wind . . . . As for myself, I just can't see the sand in an hourglass flowing upwards. We have heard that there are three wise men in the East who have been working on the problem, but unfortunately they won't arrive until it's all over. I have heard that there are plans to stable all horses at midnight at the turn of the year as there are fears that they will stop and try to run backwards, causing immense damage to chariots and possible loss of life. Some say the world will cease to exist at the moment of transition. Anyway, we are still continuing to work on this blasted Y zero K problem. I will send a parchment to you if anything further develops. If you have any ideas please let me know, Plutonius Source: NEW HUMOR Mailto:ListManager@NewHumor.com ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A frog decided to go to the bank and get a loan. He went to the first teller window available, hopped up on the counter, and asked the teller her name. "Patty Black," the young woman answered. "How can I help you?" The frog replied, "Miss Black, I am here to get a loan." Somewhat appalled at such a request, the young woman responded, "Listen, Mr. Frog, we don't give frogs loans around here." The frog answered, "But I have collateral!" He reached in his pocket and brought out a beautiful shiny blue trinket. The teller still had no idea what to do. So she asked the frog to follow her to the president's office. "This frog wants us to give him a loan," she told the bank president. "I told him we do not loan money to frogs, but he insists that he has a valuable trinket to offer as collateral." Before the president could reply, the frog jumped on the president's desk, reached in his pocket and again displayed a shiny blue trinket. "Mr. President, sir, I have collateral. See?" the frog pleaded. A great smile came across the face of the president as he examined the treasure. The president looked up and said, "It's a knick- knack, Patty Black - give the frog a loan!" Submitted by Sue Archer ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Dr. Leslie Flynn writes about the time when the English and French were at war in colonial Canada. "Admiral Phipps, in charge of the British Fleet, was ordered to anchor outside Quebec, a city on the St. Lawrence River. He was to await the coming of the British infantry and then join the land forces in attack. "Arriving early, Admiral Phipps, an ardent nonconformist, was annoyed by the statues of the saints that adorned the roof and towers of the Catholic cathedral. So he spent his time shooting at them with the ships' guns. How many he hit we don't know, but history recorded that when the infantry arrived and the signal was given for attack, the admiral found himself out of ammunition. He had used it for shooting out the saints." Source: Daily Encounter http://www.actsweb.org/encounter.htm |