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WIT and WISDOM - February 9, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: The time is always right to do what is right. - Martin Luther King, Jr. Source: DAILYQUOTE Copyright (c) 1999 http://www.dailycast.com ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A young boy went to a police department auction of bicycles accumulated over a period of time. Each time the auctioneer started the bidding, the boy would say, "I bid one dollar, sir." The bidding would continue higher and higher until each bicycle was sold to the highest bidder. Each time the boy would bid one dollar. As the last bicycle to be sold was brought forth, the little boy cried, "I bid one dollar, sir." The figures in the bidding rose higher and the auctioneer finally closed the bidding at nine dollars to the little boy in the front row. Then the auctioneer reached into his pocket and pulled out eight dollars and laid them on the counter; the little boy came up and put his one dollar in nickels, dimes and pennies alongside it, picked up his new bike, and started out the door. Then he laid the bike down, ran back to the auctioneer and threw his arms around the auctioneer's neck and cried. By Elder Featherstone, from A Cup of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Copyright (c)1996 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Barry Spilchuk Source: CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL http://www.soupserver.com/ ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF CHILDREN: A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, -"Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, -"Don't kid me, Mom. I KNOW they're my feet." ~~~~~ On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers. A little voice from the back of the room asked, -"How will that help?" ~~~~~ A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?" Submitted by Braxton Hagele ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months. As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blood wouldn't hurt much. Then, noticing my Air Force T-shirt he asked me what my husband did. When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician smiled slyly and said, "This might hurt a little more than I thought." - By Sherri Viniard Source: KEITH'S MOSTLY CLEAN HUMOR mailto:KSullivan@worldnet.att.net ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Why should something suspect be taken "with a grain of salt"? . . . Throughout history, salt has been revered for its preservation and purification properties. Jewish dietary law, for example, requires that meat be properly salted before it's eaten. Similarly, many people used to believe that salt could prevent poisoning. Our expression, "with a grain of salt" comes from a poison antidote and preventative concocted by King Mithridates VI of Pontus (now in Turkey). The king's formula was "two dry nuts, the same number of figs, and twenty leaves of rue ground together, with a grain of salt added." Mithridates's all-purpose antidote was proven ineffective, but his use of "a grain of salt" stuck. From: IT'S GREEK TO ME! by Michael Macrone Source: MAILBITS.COM http://www.MailBits.com/Trivia |