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~~~~~~~ WITandWISDOM™ - March 22, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Obstacles are what you see if you take your eyes off the goal. - Author Unknown (E-zine: THIS AND THAT Mailto:milady@mediaone.net) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Once a little boy was asked if he knew Jesus. He said, "No, but I know a friend of His." - By Madeline Calkins, Signs of the Times, November 17, 1931 (Dale Galusha ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMM. . . Part 2 of 2 How can there be self-help "groups"? How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? How do you throw away a garbage can? How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold? Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them? If Superman is so smart, then why does he wear his underpants on the outside of his trousers? Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8? Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up? Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him? Why is it that night falls but day breaks? Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day? How do you remove a club soda stain? What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about? When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? What happened to the first 6 "ups"? (Gary S Jones via E-zine: BILL'S PUNCH LINE http://www.tcmr.com/billspunchline.html) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Doctor: "Take the green pill with a glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another glass of water." Man: "Exactly what's my problem, doc?" Doctor: "You're not drinking enough water." (Joke Review) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: KIEV, Jan 14 (Reuters) A Ukraine businessman who bought a pager for each member of his staff as a New Year gift was so alarmed when all 50 of them went off at the same time that he drove his car into a lamp post, a newspaper said on Thursday. The unnamed businessman was returning from the pager shop when the accident happened, the Fakty daily reported."With no more than 100 metres to go to the office, the 50 pagers on the back seat suddenly burst out screeching. The businessman's fright was such that he simply let go of the steering wheel and the car ploughed into a lamp post. "After he had assessed the damage to the car, the businessman turned his attention to the message on the 50 pagers. It read: "Congratulations on a successful purchase!" (E-zine: GOBBLER GROUP http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/Gobbler_Group) |