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~~~~~~~ WITandWISDOM™ - April 16, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "The farther backwards you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see." - Winston Churchill (E-zine: DAILY ENCOUNTER http://www.actsweb.org/encounter.htm) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: "Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves." - Jesus (Luke 22:26, NIV) Many years ago a rider on horseback came across a squad of soldiers who were trying to move a heavy log. A corporal stood by giving lordly orders to "heave". But the log was too heavy for the squad to move. "Why don't you help them?" asked the man on the horse addressing the corporal. "Me? Why I'm a corporal, sir!" Dismounting, the stranger carefully took his place with the soldiers. "Now, all together, boys "heave!" he said. And the heavy log slid right into place. The horseman was George Washington. (E-zine: DAILY ENCOUNTER http://www.actsweb.org/encounter.htm) ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: T-SHIRT SLOGANS That was Zen, this is Tao. I am on a thirty day diet. So far, I have lost 15 days. You have a right to your opinions; I just don't want to hear them. I am retired - this is as dressed up as I'm going to get. The problem with patting yourself on the back is that your hands aren't free to break your fall. (E-zine: JOKES4U HUMOR EZINE http://www.jokes4u.com/) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience." He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience." Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them." (Joke A Day ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: According to Ken Anderson, nine times out of ten, the worrying about something does more damage to the one who worries than the thing he or she is worrying about. Anderson continues, "Modern medical research has proved that worry breaks down resistance to disease. More than that, it diseases the nervous system - particularly that of the digestive organs and of the heart." An examination of 500 patients in a British clinic showed that more than one-third of their visual problems were caused by emotional tension. And a survey of some 5,000 university students showed that worriers get the lowest grades. (E-zine: DAILY ENCOUNTER http://www.actsweb.org/encounter.htm) |