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~~~~~~~ WITANDWISDOM™ - May 10, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: It is wise to keep in mind that no success or failure is necessarily final. - Bits & Pieces, April 1, 1993 (Magazine: BITS & PIECES http://www.epinc.com/) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: WHAT IS A MOTHER? Part 2 of 2 Children answer the question: Mothers look different from other women. Their hair isn't always done in the latest style, and sometimes, it isn't done at all. A mother is a woman who can bake a cake with six other hands helping her and still have it turn out fine. A mother's shoulders sometimes smells of sour milk, and if you are very observant, you'll notice safety pin holes in her clothes - even her Sunday best. Mothers frequently have runs in their stockings, likely as not, Junior didn't park his trike off the sidewalk. A mother may not have ulcers, but she has versatile tears. They show anger, weariness, hurt or happiness. Once, when Daddy forgot an anniversary, Mother cried. One Saturday, he brought home some chocolates when it wasn't even her birthday or anything, and she cried then, too. A mother is someone who can repair the kitchen sink with only her hands - after Daddy spent a lot of time trying with tools and plenty of cuss words. (Steve Heese via Mikey's Funnies ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: TEN SIGNS OF A FRUSTRATED MOTHER 1. Your children know how to read html codes but can't operate a vacuum cleaner. 2. Your children tell you that you said "yes" and you don't even remember the question. 3. You go to the grocery and find yourself having a good time. 4. Your husband asks how your day went and you rate it on a scale of 1-10 repeats of "stop that!" or "no!". 5. You can't remember the last time you didn't have to share your drink. 6. You mistakenly tell the kids it's "sanity" time when you meant to say "bed" time. 7. The laundry seems to have taken on an evil nature and you begin to feel that it's out to get you. 8. You dread hearing the phone ring because it's a sure sign there's about to be trouble amongst the children. 9. It's finally your turn on the computer and "Touched by an Angel" is just coming on. 10.You go to sleep with "I'm bored" or "I'm hungry" still ringing in your ears. (E- zine: WEEKLY PARENTING HUMOR Mailto:parentinghumor- subscribe@egroups.com) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: We were waiting in the lobby to go in to a Hongkong assembly hall for a special program. I was talking to another missionary. He was next to me in line as he told me the story of someone who once approached Charles Spurgeon and asked him what the last thing he did before he got up to preach. Expecting a spiritual answer, he was surprised when Spurgeon replied, "Check my zipper." Shortly after he finished the story our choir director poked her head out of the assembly hall with her finger to her lips. "SSSHHHHHHH. I heard your bathroom humor." Unbeknownst to us the narrator for the cantata, who was standing next to us, had her lapel mike turned on and it had picked up a muffled version of the story and broadcast it to the audience of close to 400 people! Oh did we laugh. . . . . after the mike was switched off. - Dave Aufrance (E-zine: MONDAY FODDER Mailto:dgaufaaa@iohk.com) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Baron De Rothschild once posed before an artist as a beggar. While the artist, Ary Scheffer, was painting him, the financier sat before him in rags and tatters holding a tin cup. A friend of the artist entered, and the baron was so well disguised that he was not recognized. Thinking he was really a beggar, the visitor dropped a coin into the cup. Ten years later the man who gave the coin to Rothschild received a letter containing a bank order for 10,000 francs and the following message: "You one day gave a coin to Baron de Rothschild in the studio of Ary Scheffer. He has invested it and today sends you the capital which you entrusted to him, together with the compounded interest. A good action always brings good fortune. Signed, Baron de Rothschild." Source: Bits & Pieces, February 4, 1993, Copyright (c) Economic Press, Inc., www.epinc.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org |