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~~~~~~~ WITANDWISDOM™ - May 12, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "The heart that loves is always young." – Greek proverb (E-zine: WEEKEND ENCOUNTER http://www.gospelcom.net/actsi/weekly/) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: IT HAPPENED AT THE PARK . . . FUN WITH WILDLIFE . . . A visitor to Glacier National Park in Montana lost his car keys while attempting to lure a ground squirrel by dangling the keys out in front of the critter. The squirrel grabbed the keys and ran down a hole with them. The keys were never retrieved, a ranger cited the man for harassment of wildlife, and a locksmith was called to make new car keys. CARING FOR THE CREATURES . . . A woman, appearing rather distraught, came into the visitor center at Redwood National Park in California to report that she had seen several Irish setters lying along the edge of the highway and she feared they were dead or injured. Rangers explained to her that these were pieces of redwood bark that had fallen off logging trucks. BACK-SEAT DRIVING, AS ALWAYS . . . When an elderly couple stopped to film some bears at Dunraven Pass in Yellowstone, a young bear crawled into their car searching for food. Unable to make the bear leave, the exasperated (but well-dressed) couple drove about 17 miles to the ranger station at Canyon Village with the bear in the back seat. When the husband got out to report the incident, the bear hopped over into the front seat so that investigating rangers found the woman in the passenger seat and the bear behind the wheel. ALL TUCKERED OUT FROM OUR DAY HIKES . . . In 1993 a woman called 911 from the top of Half Dome using her cellular phone. According to dispatch, she reported: "Well, I'm at the top and I'm really tired." The answering ranger asked if she felt sick. "No," she said, "I'm just really tired and I want my friends to drive to the base and pick me up." The dispatcher explained that she would have to hike down the trail she had ascended. The visitor replied, "But you don't understand, I'm really tired." What happened next? "It turned out we got really lucky," the ranger said, "her phone battery died." EVER ALERT TO TERRORISM . . . A group of European visitors came into the Wawona ranger station in Yosemite National Park and said, "Our car is parked at the trail head and it's been blown up by terrorists." Though rangers expressed some doubt, the visitors insisted that a bomb had exploded in their car and that they could see powder residue from the explosives. Investigating rangers indeed found that a door had been torn off and a powder-like substance - pancake flour - was strewn about the car. "They were quite embarrassed when we showed them the bear prints," the ranger said. (Doug) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: The local high school has a policy that the parent's must call the school if the student is to be absent for the day. Kelly KELLY: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Kelly so-in-so is unable to make it to school today because she is ill. SECRETARY at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?" KELLY: "This is my mother." (E-zine: JOKES EVERY DAY Mailto:jokesubscribe@jokeseveryday.com) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: An unfathomable database of satellite photographs; aerial shots so detailed, you can actually find your own home. The terraserver holds more than 1.01 terabytes of compressed images. Addictive and a technological marvel. http://terraserver.microsoft.com/ - Maximum PC, December 1998 |