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WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 25, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "A dose of adversity is often as needful as a dose of medicine" - Old West Pioneer Saying (E-zine: AIKEN DRUM Mailto:doughels@erols.com?Subject=Subscribe) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Many years ago a lad of sixteen was obliged to leave home because his father was too poor to support him longer. So he trudged away with all his worldly possessions in a bundle dangling from his hand, resolving, as he journeyed, to set up in business as a soapmaker in New York. When the country boy arrived in the big city, he found it hard to get work. Remembering the last words of his mother and also the godly advice given him by the captain of a canal boat, the youth dedicated his life to God, determining to return to his Maker an honest tithe of every dollar he earned. So, when his first dollar came in, the young man sacredly dedicated ten cents of it to the Lord. This he continued to do. And the dollars rolled in! Soon this manufacturer became partner in a soap business; and when his partner died a few years later, he became sole owner of the concern. The prosperous businessman now instructed his bookkeeper to open an account with the Lord and to credit to it one tenth of all his income. The business grew miraculously. The honest proprietor now dedicated two tenths of his earnings; and then three tenths, four tenths; and finally, five tenths. It seemed as if his sales increased in exact proportion to his generosity, so that soon his make of soap became a household word throughout the world. The late William Colgate was this man whom God so signally prospered in return for his faithfulness to his Maker. While this story is not written with the object of advertising Colgate products, it is related because it illustrates so well the blessings that accompany the faithful payment of an honest tithe. By Ashley G. Emmer, Signs of the Times, August 2, 1938 (Dale Galusha http://www.pacificpress.com/signs ) ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THEY SAID IT IN COURT! :o) Part 4 of 4 [Oct 4, 11, 18, 25] Next to the strange things you may have said on your first date, comes the comments said in court.: Q: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?" Q: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?" Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?" A: "I went to Europe, Sir." Q: "And you took your new wife?" Q: "Can you describe the individual?" A: "He was about medium height and had a beard." Q: "Was this a male, or a female?" Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?" A: "Oral." Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?" A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m." Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?" A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy." Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?" A: "I have been since early childhood." Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for breathing?" A: "No." Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" A: "No." Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law." (Desmond Daly) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: TOWER: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7" EASTERN 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. . . by the way, as we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway." TOWER: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7. . . did you copy the report from Eastern?" CONTINENTAL 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff . . . and yes, we copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers." (E-zine: THE FUNNY LIST http://www.egroups.com/list/thefunnylist ) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Do you get annoyed by flashing banner ads when you visit some web pages? If you're browsing in Netscape, just click the "Stop" button once the page is loaded to keep them still. The Learn Letter, Copyright 1999, Panmedia Corporation. All rights reserved. ( |