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WITandWISDOM(tm) - December 30, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Ann Landers (E-zine: QUOTE A DAY Mailto:join- quoteaday@pulse.salko.com) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. (P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire (P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft (P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid (S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage (P) Something loose in cockpit (S) Something tightened in cockpit (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear (S) Evidence removed (P) DME volume unbelievably loud (S) Volume set to more believable level (P) Dead bugs on windshield (S) Live bugs on order (P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent (S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground (P) IFF inoperative (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode (IFF-Identification Friend or Foe) (P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick (S) That's what they're there for (P) Number three engine missing (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search (P) Aircraft handles funny (S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious (P) Target Radar hums (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics (Gavin Wilson) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: WARNING !!!!!!!!!!!!! Please take time out of your busy schedule to check your toilet paper stockpile to insure that it is Y2K compliant. Experts caution that if it is not compliant, on January 1, 2000 it will roll back to 1900 and turn into a Sears catalog. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!!!!!!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: There was no year zero between 1 BC and AD 1, even though in centuries since, there have been zero years such as 100, 1700, 2000, etc. That is why the 21st century will start in 2001 and not 2000. (Fun Fact |