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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 22, 2000 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Things work out best for those who make the best of the way things work out., Source: Bits & Pieces, Copyright (c) Economic Press - www.epinc.com/ via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: In our church's Awana club, one first-grader was having a difficult time memorizing John 3:16. After several attempts, he triumphantly said, "For God so loved the world that he gave is only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not panic but have everlasting life." Source: Monday Fodder dgaufaaa@iohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THINGS CHILDREN SAY & DO: A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A child playing in front of his house saw him and called, "What are you hauling?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the child. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the child advised him. "We put sugar and cream on them." Source: The Funnies, andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~ Jimmy's class was having an English lesson, and the teacher called on Jimmy to recite a sentence with a direct object. After thinking it over, Jimmy stood up and said, "Teacher, everybody thinks you are beautiful." "Why thank you, Jimmy," replied the teacher, "but what is the direct object?" "A good report card next month," was his reply. Source: The Funnies, andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~ I had gathered my first-grade class around me to teach them to tell time using a conventional-style analog clock. We'll be learning about the hour hand and the minute hand, I explained. One of my students interrupted and said, "I don't need to learn on that kind of clock. My dad bought me this digital watch, and right now it's 10 minutes to 38." Source: The Funnies, andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~ Church was over and the guest speaker, a widely known pastor, stood at the door to greet the congregation on their way out. The people were commending the pastor for his sermon when a little voice was heard in the midst of the crowd: "What a sermon!" It was the pastor's grandson, who was 4 or 5 years old. With a big smile on his face the pastor picked up his grandson and, as everyone had turned to see the little fellow, he asked, "So you liked my sermon, son?" The boy readily answered: "No, Grandpa; it was the longest sermon I ever heard!" By Eli Rojas, Berrien Springs, Michigan via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: It's a really busy day at work, so when one spouse phones the other spouse, the answering spouse says there just isn't time to talk. "Oh, okay," responds calling spouse: "Just wanted to give you some good news and some bad news. Do you have time for either?" Answering spouse: "Well, like I said, it's really a zoo around here. Why don't you just give me the good news now, and I'll get the bad news tonight when we're home together?" Calling spouse: "I can do that. Here's the good news: The air bag works." Source: Bill's Punch Line, bills-punch-line-subscribe@onelist.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Facts about The Pentagon, headquarters to the US Military: Built in only 16 months between 1941 and 1942, the Pentagon is only 71 ft tall, yet it has 5 floors, 17.5 miles of corridors, 150 stairways, 280 restrooms, 685 drinking fountains, 7,748 windows and workers replace more than 250 light bulbs each day. Because of its size, the Pentagon operates much like a small city; it has it's own shopping mall, bank, power plant, water and sewage facilities, fire station, police force, fast food restaurants and a "mayor". At its peak in 1943, the Pentagon had a working population of about 33,000. Today about 23,000 employees work in the building. Source: Useless Digest, Copyright (c) 2000 All Rights Reserved, www.uselessknowledge.com/ via http://www.witandwisdom.org |