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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 20, 2001 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Don't cry because its over; smile because it happened. - Author Unknown Source: Monday Fodder dgaufaaa@iohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I'll have a surprise for you". The vicar accepted the offer and he and his wife went off to the Middle East. Three months later they returned home and were met by the wealthy parishioner, who told them while they were gone, he had had a new church built. "It's the finest building money can buy, vicar," said the man, "No expense was spared." And he was right. It was a magnificent edifice both outside and in. But there was one striking difference. There was only one pew and it was at the very back. "A church with only one pew?" asked the vicar. "You just wait until Sunday." said the rich man. When the time came for the Sunday service, the early arrivals entered the church, filed onto the one pew and sat down. When the pew was full, a switch clicked silently, a circuit closed, the gears meshed, a belt moved and, automatically, the rear pew began to move forward. When it reach the front of the church it came to a stop. At the same time, another empty pew came up from below at the back and more people sat down. And so it continued, pews filling and moving forwards until finally the church was full, from front to back. "Wonderful!" said the vicar, "Marvelous!" The service began, and the vicar started to preach his sermon. He launched into his text and, when 12 o'clock came, he was still going strong with no end in sight. Suddenly a bell rang and a trap door in the floor behind the pulpit dropped open. "Wonderful!" said the congregation, "Marvelous!" Source: Clean Laugh, cleanlaugh- subscribe@egroups.com ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A man comes to dinner at a new friend's house. While they eat, the new friend's small son keeps staring at the guest. Finally, the guest says, "Why are you staring at me like that, young fellow?" The kid says, "Daddy told me you were a self made man." "I am." "Well, why did you make yourself like that?" Source: Kitty's Daily Mews, Copyright (c) 1997-2001 All rights reserved worldwide, mailto:kittysubs@katscratch.com?subject=Sub_KDM ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Guide dogs are great, but why should one animal have a monopoly on helping the blind? Given the existence of hearing-ear cats, seizure-assist pigs and monkey helpers for quadriplegics, it should come as no surprise that miniature horses are being trained to guide the blind. Lilliputian creatures, roughly 2 ft. tall at the shoulder, they come equipped with a good memory, excellent night vision and absurdly cute sneakers to provide traction indoors. But perhaps the greatest advantage is the ponies' 25- to 35-year life span. Says Dan Shaw, 44, of Ellsworth, Maine, who will receive the world's first guide horse, Cuddles, in May: "Instead of going through three or four guide dogs in my lifetime, I'll get to stick with one animal." Source: By Julie Rawe in TIME Magazine, January 21, 2001 The Guide Horse Foundation web site: http://www.guidehorse.com/ |