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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 21, 2001 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires. - William Arthur Ward Source: Frank's Daily Chuckles e-mail list ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: THE MASTER'S CARD You have probably seen the catchy television commercials for MasterCard. They start by identifying some things that people can buy with their MasterCard, then show a moment that is priceless and end by saying, "There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MasterCard." I'm here to advertise my credit card. I'm a card carrying representative for the Master's Card. That's right, the MASTER'S CARD. Let me tell you about it. There are no finance charges, no payments due. My bill has already been covered . . . it's a prepaid deal. I couldn't afford the price. Jesus paid it for me and you. It is accessible twenty-four hours a day from anywhere in the world. The MASTER'S CARD has so many benefits it's hard to list them all. Let me share some of them with you . . . Just for starters there is unlimited grace. Apply for the MASTER'S CARD. Looking for love in all the wrong places? Apply for the MASTER'S CARD. Want real joy despite the difficulties of life? Apply for the MASTER'S CARD. Want a lasting peace? Apply for the MASTER'S CARD. How do you obtain the MASTER'S CARD? Dial 1-800-BeSaved for the following messages: Romans 10:9 "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Matthew 10:22 "All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved." Jesus is standing by right now to take your call. Don't delay. This great offer won't last forever. There are some things money can't buy. For those things, there's the Master's Card. - Author Unknown, Edited by Richard Wimer Submitted by Phyllis Anderson ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: CLASSIFIED ADS Amana Washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed. 83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2000 German Shepherd 85 Lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free. For Sale: Lee Majors (6 Million Dollar Man) - $50 American Flag - 60 Stars - Pole Included $100 Kellogg's Pot Tarts - $1.99 Box Fully cooked boneless smoked man - $2.09 lb. Submitted by Carol Blum ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: My nephew, the artist and photographer William Wegman, is well known for his pictures using dogs as models. He also trained his three Weimaraners to play baseball. While visiting his studio, our family started playing a baseball game. The dogs were positioned at left, center and right fields. Whenever a batter hit the ball, one of the dogs would retrieve it, bring it to the pitcher and then return to the outfield. When it was my brother's turn at bat, he tried to swing hard but only hit the ball about 20 yards. Next time he approached home plate, all three dogs came into the infield and waited. - By Hugh Wegman Source: Reader's Digest, Copyright (c) August 2000, www.readersdigest.com ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: When St. Petersburg, one of the most splendid and harmonious cities in Europe, was being laid out early in the eighteenth century, many large boulders brought by a glacier from Finland had to be removed. One particularly large rock was in the path of one of the principal avenues that had been planned, and bids were solicited for its removal. The bids submitted were very high. This was understandable, because at that time modern equipment did not exist and there were no high-powered explosives. As officials pondered what to do, a peasant presented himself and offered to get rid of the boulder for a much lower price than those submitted by other bidders. Since they had nothing to lose, officials gave the job to the peasant. The next morning he showed up with a crowd of other peasants carrying shovels. They began digging a huge hole next to the rock. The rock was propped up with timbers to prevent it from rolling into the hole. When the hole was deep enough, the timber props were removed and the rock dropped into the hole below the street level. It was then covered with dirt, and the excess dirt was carted away. Source: Bits & Pieces, October 15, 1992, Copyright (c) Economic Press, Inc., www.epinc.com |