| Prior Date | Archive Index | Next Date |
|
WITandWISDOM(tm) - December 30, 2003 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Marriage - as its veterans know well - is the continuous process of getting used to things you hadn't expected." -Tom Mullen Source: Heart Touchers, http://www.hearttouchers.com ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: When Mother Teresa of India visited Los Angeles a few years ago, a physician named Gerald Jampolski heard her speak. Attracted by the spiritual power that emanated from her, he asked her, 'Would it be all right if I accompanied you on your coming tour to Mexico? Whenever I am around you, I feel the presence of God.' She replied, 'Dr. Jampolski, I do not object to your joining me, but you said you wanted to experience inner peace. Find out how much it costs to fly to Mexico and give that money to feed and clothe someone in need, and you will find the inner peace you seek.' Dr. Jampolski followed her advice and discovered that she was right. That portion of our money that brings us the deepest joy and lasts the longest is that which we give away. By Bill Bouknight, Christ United Methodist Church, Memphis, TN. Via Preaching Now Source: Chapnotes, http://www.chaplainsnotes.org/ ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: All Purpose Excuse Form All Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten in. Whenever there's a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and use it. You'll be surprised how effective this form can be! Dear a) Mom b) Dad c) love of my life d) Assistant Principal e) Local Police Chief, Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your a) Car b) House c) Pet d) Espresso maker e) Left arm was severely damaged by my a) infantile b) puerile c) inept d) comically brilliant but nonetheless foolish e) woefully under appreciated prank. How could I have known that the a) car b) jet ski c) large helium balloon d) rodent driven sledge e) Zamboni I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your a) house b) wife c) Cub Scout troop d) 1/16th sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, complete with lightbulb in the torch e) priceless collection of Rolling Rock soda cans, you must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent carnage that I caused is beyond my ability to a) imagine b) fathom c) comprehend d) appreciate e) pay for, and I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that you are perfectly within your rights to a) hate me b) sue me c) spank me d) take my firstborn e) gouge out my eyes with spoons and feed them to the fish in your koi pond, but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around at a) school b) work c) church d) the bowling alley e) the municipal jail, and to remember that I am first and foremost your a) friend b) child c) sibling d) lease co-signer e) only possible match should you ever need a bone marrow transplant. I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one that a) was so stupid b) was so silly c) would have been funny if it worked d) you would have done, if you had thought of it first e) I'm going to use again on someone else. Sincerely, Me. Source: Have A Nice Day! ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Crazy Fads 1920s - 1990s http://www.crazyfads.com/ Source: Trev's Funnies, mailto:trevsfunnies-subscribe@topica.com |