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WITandWISDOM(tm) - December 31, 2003 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Everyone in this world has talents and flaws. The smart people use their talents. The happy people accept their flaws. - John Lithgow ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A Parable . . . Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn't notice it. A woman in the car behind him is watching traffic pass around them. The woman begins pounding on her steering wheel and yelling at the man to move. The man doesn't move. The woman is going ballistic inside her car, ranting and raving at the man, pounding on her steering wheel and dash. The light turns yellow and the woman begins to blow the car horn and screams profanity and curses at the man. The man, looks up, sees the yellow light and accelerates through the intersection just as the light turns red. The woman is beside herself, screaming in frustration as she misses her chance to get through the intersection. As she is still in mid-rant she hears a tap on her window and looks up into the barrel of a gun held by a very serious looking policeman. The policeman tells! her to shut off her car while keeping both hands in sight. She complies, speechless at what is happening. After she shuts off the engine, the policeman orders her to exit her car with her hands up. She gets out of the car and he orders her to turn and place her hands on her car. She turns, places her hands on the car roof and quickly is cuffed and hustled into the patrol car. She is too bewildered by the chain of events to ask any questions and is driven to the police station where she is fingerprinted, photographed, searched, booked and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell and opens the door for her. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the original officer is waiting with her personal effects. He hands her the bag containing her things, and says, "I'm really sorry for this mistake. But you see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn and cussing a blue streak at him. Then I noticed the: "Choose Life" license plate holder, the "What Would Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the "Follow Me to Sunday School" bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. So, naturally . . . I assumed you had stolen the car." Submitted by P G Vargis ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: WEIRD MATH Three brothers check into a hotel and rent one room. the Clerk tells them the room is $30 for the night, so each brother contributes $10 and the room is paid in advance. About an hour after check-in the clerk discovers that he charged the weekend rate of $30 instead of the weekday rate of $ 25. The Clerk gives the bellhop $ 5.00 to return to the brothers. On the way up to the room the bellhop pockets $ 2.00 and returns only $ 3.00 to the Brothers. Now: Each Brother has paid $9.00 toward the room or $27.00 and the Bellhop kept $ 2.00 for a total of $ 29.00. What happened to the extra $ 1.00 ?? Answer below.......... Well nothing really. There is no extra dollar. What we have in this puzzle is a break in the laws of Algebra or a better way to see what happened is to break the money into "Givers and Receivers" First pass of the money: Receiver: Givers: Hotel $30 = Brothers $10 +10 +10 (An equal equation!) Second Pass of the money: Receivers: Givers: Hotel $25 +Bellhop $ 2 = Brothers $9 + 9 + 9 (Again all even at $27) Source: HUMOR Digest ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A second grade teacher was showing a film to her pupils. It was all about Christopher Columbus and his discovery of the "New World." After the movie they talked about just how many years ago it had all occurred. They subtracted 1492 from 1990 and agreed that, yes indeed, it all happened a long time ago. At this point little Tommy raised his hand. "Well, you know it was a LONG time ago - the movie was in BLACK and WHITE!!!!" Source: Laughter Works ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Do small things matter? . . . MADRID, Spain (AP) -- A small screw missing from a tool used to refuel a 35-year-old nuclear power plant led technicians on a fruitless two-day search and has delayed the facility from coming back on line, regulators said Tuesday. For more on the story visit: http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/12/23/spain.nuclearplant.ap /index.html Submitted by Chris Nelms |