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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 22, 2004 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Worrying about something is like paying interest on a debt you don't even know if you owe." Mark Twain Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: There was an older more experienced truck driver who had been all over the country in his career. One day, he had to train a new, much younger, inexperienced driver. The old one allowed the younger one to drive for awhile. The young one drove the big 18-wheeler for about five hours and became very tired and asked the trainer to take over for a while. The trainer drove for 10 hours and was not even tired as he had done this for years. The young man was flabbergasted and asked the old man how he could drive for hours and not get tired. The old man asked him, "What do you do in the morning just before you leave your house?" The young man replied, "I kiss my wife good-bye and tell her I am going to work." The old one said, "That is your problem." The young man asked, "What do you mean, problem?" The old man said, "When I leave in the morning, I kiss my wife good-bye, but I don't tell her I am going to work, I tell her I am going for a drive in the country." Everything is a matter of attitude. Source: MountainWings, http://www.mountainwings.com Submitted by Sharon Hamel ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Short Funny Sayings UFO's are real. It's the Air Force that doesn't exist! A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one. I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO. Money Talks ... but all mine ever says is Goodbye! I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it? I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this? 43% of all statistics are useless. I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn LOUDER! Black Holes are where God divided by zero. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Dolphins: Don't trust a species that's always smiling, its up to something! Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance. 1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts. SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark. Source: Laugh & Lift, http://www.premiumhealth.com/laughlift/ ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A teacher asked his Sunday School Class "Who wrote the Ten Commandments?" No one answered. Not getting any response, the teacher asked little Johnny. "John, who wrote the Ten Commandments?" “I dunno", said Johnny , " ... but Cecil B. De Mille directed it." Source: Humor Digest ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Traditional cemeteries, with their uniform headstones, manicured lawns and plastic wreaths, may become a thing of the past. Eco-friendlier modern burial grounds resemble nature preserves, with native plants and trees; stones serve as graveside markers. The 350-acre Glendale Memorial Nature Preserve opened last month in DeFuniak Springs, Fla.; another green burial site has opened outside Huntsville, Texas, and others are planned in California and New York. The non-profit Pre-Posthumous Society of Ithaca, N.Y., advocates "green burials" — in naturally wooded settings, with caskets made of biodegradable materials, and no embalming, which delays decomposition. One such site is the 32-acre Ramsey Creek Preserve, above, in Westminster, S.C. "People are literally integrated into the landscape," says Billy Campbell, the town's only doctor, who co-owns the burial site with wife Kimberley. For those who prefer the sea. Eternal Reefs (http://eternalreefs.com ) will mix your loved one's cremated remains with concrete to be placed at various artificial reef locations off the Atlantic and Gulf coasts; they'll support marine life for years to come. Source: USA Weekend, March 19-21, 2004, http://usaweekend.com |