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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 23, 2004 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. – Author Unknown Source: Carol's Thought for Today, http://www.kalama.com/~carola/ ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A little boy invited his mother to attend his elementary school's first teacher-parent conference. To the little boy's dismay, she said she would go. This would be the first time that his classmates and teacher met his mother and he was embarrassed by her appearance. Although she was a beautiful woman, there was a severe scar that covered nearly the entire right side of her face. The boy never wanted to talk about why or how she got the scar. At the conference, the people were impressed by the kindness and natural beauty of his mother despite the scar, but the little boy was still embarrassed and hid himself from everyone. He did, however, get within earshot of a conversation between his mother and his teacher, and heard them speaking. "How did you get the scar on your face?" the teacher asked. The mother replied, "When my son was a baby, he was in a room that caught on fire. Everyone was too afraid to go in because the fire was out of control, so I went in. As I was running toward his crib, I saw a beam coming down and I placed myself over him trying to shield him. I was knocked unconscious but fortunately, a fireman came in and saved both of us." She touched the burned side of her face. "This scar will be permanent, but to this day, I have never regretted doing what I did." At this point, the little boy came out running towards his mother with tears in his eyes. He hugged her and felt an overwhelming sense of the sacrifice that his mother had made for him. He held her hand tightly for the rest of the day. In a similar manner, Jesus Christ bears a scar -- many scars, in fact. There are those who find that somewhat embarrassing ("You mean to tell me you worship a man who was crucified?"). However, realizing that his ugly scars are the result of his efforts to save me, they suddenly take on a special beauty. By Lih Yuh Kuo, "Chicken Soup For the Soul" Source: Monday Fodder mailto:dgaufaaa@iohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder http://www.fishermansnet.com/monday-fodder/ ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: 911 CALLS Caller: "I'd like to make a unanimous complaint so don't use my name." Caller: "Am I talking to a real person, or is this a recording?" Caller: "We might (cough) need the fire department here (cough)." Caller: "Is it okay for a civilian to take a person to the hospital, or does the ambulance have to do it?" Caller: (irate) "That's 'W' as in Williams and 'Y' as in why." Operator: "Does she have any weapons?" Caller: "Well, she has real long finger nails." Operator: "We'll need a description of him." Caller: "He's a lawyer." Caller: "No, she just didn't fall . . . I helped her!" Complaint about a stolen mailbox: Operator: "What is your address?" Caller: "It's gone." Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: My job is in the aerospace industry, and it's always been a challenge to explain what kind of work I do. At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful explanations before deciding to be as generic as possible. When the subject came up while I was talking with a group of guys, I replied simply, "Defense contractor." The men nodded, and as the conversation went on, I silently declared victory to myself. Then, one of them turned to me and asked, "So, what do you put up mainly? Chain-link?" Contributed by D. B. Smith, Jr. Source: Reader's Digest, Copyright (c) December 2000, http://www.readersdigest.com/ ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: AuctionSniper lf you are frustrated about losing too many online auctions, AuctionSniper (which monitors bidding, then tops the high bid in the final seconds) can level the playing field and help you win that coveted laptop (or signed Harry Potter book). Your first three auctions are free; after that, you pay AuctionSniper a fee ranging from 25 cents to $5 for each auction you win based on the final price. http://www.auctionsniper.com Source PC World, Copyright (c) February 2004, http://www.pcworld.com |