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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 23, 2004
Learn how to separate the majors and the minors. A lot of people don't do well simply because they major in minor things.
Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
A party of Northern tourists formed a portion of a company gathered on the deck of an excursion steamer that was moving slowly down the historic Potomac one beautiful evening in the summer of 1881. A gentleman who has since gained a national reputation as an evangelist of song had been delighting the party with the happy rendering of many familiar hymns, the last being the sweet petition so dear to every Christian, beginning, "Jesus, Lover of my soul."
The singer gave the first two verses with much feeling, and a peculiar emphasis upon the concluding lines that thrilled every heart. A hush had fallen upon the listeners that was not broken for some seconds after the musical notes had died away. Then a gentleman made his way from the outskirts of the crowd to the side of the singer and accosted him with-
"Beg your pardon, stranger, but were you actively engaged in the late war?"
"Yes, sir," the man of song answered courteously, "I fought under General Grant."
"Well," the first speaker continued with something like a sigh, "I did my fighting on the other side, and think-indeed, am quite sure-I was very near you one bright night eighteen years ago this very month. It was much such a night as this. If I am not mistaken, you were on guard duty. We of the South had sharp business on hand, and you were one of the enemy. I crept near your post of duty, my murderous weapon in my hand; the shadow hid me. As you paced back and forth you were humming the tune of the hymn you have just sung. I raised my gun and aimed at your heart, and I had been selected by our commander for the work because I was a sure shot. Then out upon the night rang the words-
"Cover my defenseless head
With the shadow of Thy wing."
Your prayer was answered. I couldn't fire after that. And there was no attack made upon your camp that night. You were the man whose life I was spared from taking."
The singer grasped the hand of the Southerner and said with much emotion-
"I remember the night very well, and distinctly the feeling of depression and loneliness with which I went forth to my duty. I knew my post was one of great danger, and I was more dejected than I remember to have been at any other time during the service. I paced my lonely beat, thinking of home and friends, and all that life holds dear. Then the thought of God's care for all that He has created came to me with peculiar force. If He so cared for the sparrows, how much more for man, created in His own image! And I sang the prayer of my heart, and ceased to feel alone.
"How the prayer was answered I never knew until this evening. My heavenly Father thought best to keep the knowledge from me for eighteen years. How much of His goodness we shall be ignorant of until it is revealed by the light of eternity! 'Jesus, Lover of my soul,' has been a favorite hymn; now it will be inexpressibly dear."
The incident given in the above sketch is a true one, and was related to the writer by a lady who was one of the party on the steamer.
Source: Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) June 10, 1889, Pacific Press, http://www.signstimes.com
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
According to Jeff Foxworthy ... you might be from the Pacific Northwest if:
1. You know the state flower (Mildew)
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" Signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
17. You cannot wait for a day with "showers and sun breaks."
18. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
19. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
20. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
21. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
22. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
23. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
24. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
25. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
26. You knew immediately that the view out of Frasier's window was fake.
27. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.
28. You measure distance in hours.
29. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
30. You use a down comforter in the summer.
31. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
32. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
33. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).
34. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them!
Submitted by Barbara Henry
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made."
Otto von Bismarck (04/01/1815 – 07/30/1898); German chancellor
Submitted by John L. Bechtel
Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was elated when he called me at work with the wonderful news of my grandchild's birth. I took down all the statistics and turned to relate it all to my co-workers. "I'm a grandmother!" I declared. "It's a baby girl, and she weighs five pounds." "When was she born?" someone asked. Recalling the date my son told me, I stopped, looked at the calendar and said in amazement, "Tomorrow!"
Contributed to "Humor In Uniform"
DailyInBox: America in Uniform, http://dailyinbox.com/aiu/ind.shtml