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WITandWISDOM(tm) - December 29, 2004 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: How we drive our cars through life is more important than what car we drive and/or what roads we travel. - Tse Sihn Kei Submitted by Pastor John L. Bechtel, http://www.tagnet.org/fremont/ ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued: "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" He reminded the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about Teachers: "Those who can...do. Those who can't, teach." To corroborate, he said to another guest: "You're a teacher, Susan. Be honest. What do you make?" Susan, who had a reputation of honesty and frankness, replied, "You want to know what I make? "I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could." "I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional Medal of Honor and an A- feel like a slap in the face if the student did not do his or her very best." "I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence." "I can make parents tremble in fear when I call home" You want to know what I make?" "I make kids wonder." "I make them question." "I make them criticize." "I make them apologize and mean it." "I make them write." "I make them read, read, read." "I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, and definitely beautiful over and over and over again, until they will never misspell either one of those words again." "I make them show all their work in math and hide it all on their final drafts in English." "I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart...and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you pay them no attention." You want to know what I make?" "I make a difference." Source: Top Greetings ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Our business associates frequently underestimate my husband, Mike. It's easy to see why. Rangy and fair-skinned with a warm friendly smile, he looks like the former farm boy he is. The other day, Mike was hard at work in our home office, trying to make a sale. Focused on the papers at my desk across the room, I was only half listening as Mike coaxed and charmed a particularly stubborn new prospect. That's when I heard something that got my total attention. From the rear Of the house, there was a commotion. When a loud "meow" pierced the air, I was certain the trouble involved our cat, "BR". Before I could get out from behind my desk, BR was lunging through the office door in hot pursuit of a northern mockingbird. Speaking softly, I tried to keep the kitty away from the frightened bird. I had no idea how our feathered guest got inside, but I knew it was up to me to get it out. With the cat contained, the bird continued to dart around the room, dodging ceiling fan blades and overhead lighting fixtures. Downy white feathers drifted down like snow-flakes. It was clear the situation was flying more and more out of control. I knew Mike couldn't close that sale with a hysterical mockingbird flapping around his head. But he also couldn't very well say, "Excuse me a moment, would you? I've got a mockingbird flying around the office." Leaping over chairs and skirting desks, I did my best to catch the bird, to no avail. Perceiving me as a greater threat than the cat, the frightened creature furiously beat its wings, snapped its bill and screeched at me. Meanwhile, Mike talked on. Not an errant note in his voice betrayed the chaos around him. The situation looked dire, but I needn't have worried. Without so much as a "please hold", much less a skipped beat, Mike reached up with his free hand and scooped the mockingbird right out of midair. Still calmly delivering his sales pitch, he handed the bird to me. I carried it to the front door and released it. When I returned to the office with a dustpan and brush to clean up the mess, there sat Mike with a smile on his face. He had finished the call and was writing up the sale as if nothing strange had happened... except for the stray feather lodged in his hair. Source: Birds & Blooms, August / September 2004, http://www.birdsandblooms.com ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: WHEN MY WIFE and I sent our bills to Medicare, we accidentally enclosed a veterinary bill for our dog, Duster. Medicare returned the vet's statement to us, with this note: "Sorry, Duster. You're barking up the wrong tree." Contributed to Reader's Digest "Life In These United States" by William Starbody Source: Laughter for a Saturday mailto:ed548@yahoo.com?subject=Subscribe_to_Laughter_for_a_Saturday ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Buy a Friend Shane Braisdell of Wigan, England, is selling his friendship on the Internet. The 29 year-old retail manager, who is married with two children, is offering 12-month friendships in a range of packages. For 99 pence, people can expect a birthday card, monthly e-mails and a framed certificate of friendship. The most expensive deal is 500 pounds (for which friends will receive a DVD of his choice every month). For packages of 70 pounds and more, Mr. Braisdell will give out his cell phone number. He describes himself as short and tubby, and he will not enter into extramarital relationships or anything that involves his family. "I'm trustworthy, honest and reliable," he says. "Everybody needs more friends." From: The Guardian, London Source: Peninsula Daily News, October 8, 2004, http://peninsuladailynews.com |