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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 20, 2005 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction." - Ashleigh Brilliant Source: Molly's Quotes of the Day, mailto:rheamo@centurytel.net?subject=Subscribe_Quotes_of_the_Day ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: R. A. Anderson, in his book The Shepherd Evangelist, tells of a tourist who, walking across the Scottish hills enjoying the beauties of the lake country, saw a shepherd with his sheep resting at noon. The sheep were browsing. As he drew near to the shepherd he noticed one sheep lying down. It was evidently hurt, and the shepherd was speaking words of love and assurance to the little thing. "You have a sick one there?" asked the stranger. "Well, not exactly sick. He has a broken leg." "Oh, how did it happen? An accident, I suppose." But the old shepherd hesitated to say. Finally he told the story. "This fellow is a good sheep. He has all the earmarks of a leader, but he was willful and wouldn't come when I called. He would always lead the flock the wrong way. I tried to teach him, but he was obstinate. He wouldn't trust me. I decided I'd have to do to him. what I'd done to others before. It was hard, but I knew it would work. I prepared splints and bandages; then holding him down, I took the little fellow's leg in my hands and broke it over my own like this," and he showed how it was done. But his voice choked and his eyes were brimming. . . . "Then I set the leg," he continued, "and bound it up. That was weeks ago. Since then every mouthful of food and every drop of water this little fellow has had, he has taken from my own hands. Every day I carry him out to the field, and every night I take him back again. We have learned to love each other, for we have suffered together. In a few days I will remove the bandage, and he will be my leader, for he has learned in pain what I could teach him in no other way." Source: Stop, Look and Listen by Eileen E. and Jay H. Lantry, Copyright(c)1976 by Review and Herald Publishing Association, LCCN 75-32229 Submitted by Mary Thayne ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: What Do You Get When You Cross... A fawn with a hornet? Bambee. A policeman with a telegram? Copper wire. A canary with a mole? A miner bird. A pig with a cactus? A porkerpine. A cat with a lemon? A sourpuss. A banana with a red silk dress? A pink slip. A chicken with a bell? An alarm cluck. An Eskimo with a pig? A polar boar. A spider with a rabbit? A hare net. A ham with a karate expert? Pork chops. An owl with a goat? A hootenanny. A termite with a house? An exterminator. A dove with a high chair? A stool pigeon. A tree with a baseball player? Babe Root. A parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie. A rabbit with a kilt? Hopscotch. A dog with a daisy? A collie-flower. A hummingbird with a doorbell? A humdinger.. Telly Sevalas with a pool table? A billiard bald. A dog with a chicken? A hen that lays pooched eggs.. A kangaroo with a sheep? A wooly jumper. A gorilla and a sheep? A nice wool coat, except the sleeves are too long. Source: Top Greetings ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: While visiting my mother in the hospital, I stopped in the cafeteria for breakfast. I set a piece of bread on the moving toaster rack and waited for it to pass under the heated coils and return golden brown. Instead, it got stuck at the back of the toaster, and I couldn't reach it. The woman next to me in line quickly seized a pair of tongs, reached in, and fished out the piece of toast. I joked, "You must be an emergency room worker." "No," she replied with a grin. "I'm an obstetrician." Submitted by Lulu ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Have you ever read a news item about an arrest that had you thinking, "Huh?" Yes, we do have some silly laws in this country. Right here in my home state of Arizona, it is illegal to hunt camels. No danger there. If you want to find out why camel hunting is forbidden, check out this site. Your own state may have a gem of its own. Some laws are funny, some laws are tragic but all of them at Dumb Laws are fascinating. TO VISIT THIS SITE, GO HERE: http://www.dumblaws.com/laws.php?site=laws&cid=184 Copyright 2005, The Kim Komando Show. All rights reserved. Kim Komando's Cool Site of the Day http://www.komando.com/newsletter.asp