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WITandWISDOM(tm) - February 19, 2007 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: You needn't think there is nothing you can do - you can tell the truth. - Daniel Ellsberg Source: Quote Lady's Quote of the Day, mailto:quote-a-day-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Samuel Colgate, the founder of the Colgate business empire, was a devout Christian, and he told of an incident that took place in the church he attended. During an evangelistic service, an invitation was given at the close of the sermon for all those who wished to turn their lives over to Christ and be forgiven. One of the first persons to walk down the aisle and kneel at the altar was a well-known prostitute. She knelt in very real repentance, she wept, she asked God to forgive her, and meanwhile the rest of the congregation looked on approvingly at what she was doing. Then she stood and testified that she believed God had forgiven her for her past life, and she now wanted to become a member of the church. For a few moments, the silence was deafening. Finally, Samuel Colgate arose and said, "I guess we blundered when we prayed that the Lord would save sinners. We forgot to specify what kind of sinners. We’d better ask him to forgive us for this oversight. The Holy Spirit has touched this woman and made her truly repentant, but the Lord apparently doesn’t understand that she’s not the type we want him to rescue. We’d better spell it out for him just which sinners we had in mind." Immediately, a motion was made and unanimously approved that the woman be accepted into membership in the congregation. God accepts us as we are. There’s not a sin too black, not a deed too awful, not a thought too horrible for him to forgive. From: Larry R. Kalajainen, Extraordinary Faith For Ordinary Time, CSS Publishing Company, Inc, 1994., http://isbn.nu/0788000209 Source: SermonCentral Weekly Newsletter, http://www.sermoncentral.com/newsletter_subscribe.asp ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THE ODDBALL WALL - Crazy Laws In each multiple choice question below, one of the laws listed is actually on the books. Your task is to figure which is the real law. Note that while the real laws are be on the books, they are probably not being enforced. 1) In Alabama: a. Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. b. It is illegal to paint your house black. 2) In Ohio: a. You may not sell lipstick to boys under 12 years of age. b. It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. 3) In Owensboro, Kentucky: a. A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission. b. A man may not kiss his wife in public during daylight hours. 4) In Iowa: a. It is illegal to dye a cow's hair purple. b. One-armed piano players must perform for free. 5) In Chico, California: a. Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits is a $500 fine. b. Surfing in a tuxedo is banned except on Sundays. 6) In Vermont: a. Singing the National Anthem while intoxicated is a $100 fine. b. Whistling underwater is illegal. 7) In Arizona: a. Spelling the plural of "cactus" as "cactuses" is a $25.00 fine. b. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. 8) In Tennessee: a. It is illegal to eat dirt. b. It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. And now for one that's sure to make you wonder... 9) In Sterling, Colorado: a. Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight. b. It is illegal to share a toothbrush with your mother. Answers below, here's the scoring: 9 correct: Perfection! 7-8 correct: Outstanding 5-6 correct: Very Good 2-4 correct: Fairly Fair 0-1 correct: Turn the TV off Answers: 1) a. Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. 2) b. It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. 3) a. A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission. 4) b. One-armed piano players must perform for free. 5) a. Detonating a nuclear device is a $500 fine. 6) b. Whistling underwater is illegal. 7) b. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. 8) b. It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. 9) a. Cats may not run loose without a taillight. Source: Internet Tutor, http://www.gophercentral.com/sub/sub-tutor.html ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: On a business trip, my father approached a security checkpoint at the airport. The National Guard shift was rotating, and a guard, in full uniform, was in line in front of him. As with everybody else, the soldier was ordered to go through the metal detector. So, as he did so, he handed his M-16 rifle to security personnel along with other items such as handcuffs and a flashlight. Still, the alarm sounded when he walked through. Further inspection revealed a little Swiss army knife inside one of his pockets. "Sorry, Sir, but this item is prohibited," security said to the soldier. Then, taking the knife away, the airport worker handed him back the M-16. (This one hits me where I live. I've lost at least 4 small Swiss Arm knives at airport security points. It's on my key chain and I just forget about it! Dave Aufrance) Source: Monday Fodder by Dave Aufrance, Missionary in Hongkong mailto:daveaufrance@gmail.com?Subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder http://www.fishermansnet.com/monday-fodder/ ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Do you use MS Word for labels? Ever need to print different labels on the same sheet? (I know I do it all the time at work. I never seem to need 30 of the same thing and I rarely use them for addresses). Have you figured out how to get Word to give you a blank sheet of labels to work with or are you still fighting the program when it sticks you with an entire page of the same one? Well, if you haven't found that blank page of labels yet, allow me to give you a little push in the right direction. If you've found the labels at all, then you already know the beginning. We need the TOOLS menu, LETTERS and MAILING submenu, ENVELOPES and LABELS choice. Next, we need the LABELS tab. Now, I know it's habit to put an address in the ADDRESS box, but resist the urge just this once. If necessary, use the OPTIONS button to select the correct label size. Once the label size is set, all you have left to do is click the NEW DOCUMENT button. That's it! You're returned to Word with a blank page of labels ready for you to mix and match as much as you please! - April Source: Computer Tips, http://www.worldstart.com/