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WIT & WISDOM - September 3, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown, Signs of the Times, January 28, 1930. [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE - Part 2 of 2 24. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. 25. Read more books and watch less TV. 26. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time. 27. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home. 28. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past. 29. Read between the lines. 30. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality. 31. Be gentle with the earth. 32. Pray - there's immeasurable power in it ! 33. Try to NOT interrupt. 34. Mind your own business. 35. Be trustworthy ! 36. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before. 37. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction. 38. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck. 39. Learn the rules. 40. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other. 41. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. 42. Remember that your character is your destiny. 43. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. 44. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 45. Attend Church weekly NOT weakly. [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: IT'S RIDDLE TIME. . . Part 1 of 2 QUESTIONS: 1. The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it; and the user doesn't see it. What is it? 2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts. The child is not a United States citizen. How is this possible? 3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth? 4. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible? 5. Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a battalion against a German division during World War I. Through brilliant maneuvers he defeated them and captured valuable territory. After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership. World War I. From the Men of Battalion 8." Captain Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't expect anyone to believe that yarn, do you?" What's wrong with the story? 6. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agreed is between heaven and earth? 7. In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in the same year? 8. A woman from New York married ten different men from that city, yet she did not break any laws. None of these men died and she never divorced. How was this possible? ANSWERS: 1A. A coffin 2A. The child was born before 1776 3A. Mount Everest, it just hadn't been discovered! 4A. Clara lives in the southern hemisphere. 5A. World War I wasn't called "World War I" until World War II. 6A. The word "and". 7A. They fall in the same year every year, New Year's Day just arrives very early in the year and Christmas arrives very late in the same year. 8A. The lady was a Justice of the Peace. [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A woman went to her rector and told him she wanted to divorce her husband. "What are your grounds?" asked the rector. "About two acres," she replied. "That's not what I mean," said the rector. "Do you have a grudge?" "No, we park in the driveway," she said. Frustrated, the rector continued, "Does your husband beat you up?" "No," she said, "I get up an hour before he does." "Then why do you want a divorce?" the rector asked. "Because," she replied, "we just don't seem to communicate." - The Anglican Digest [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: In the store, cashews don't come in their shells. That's because cashews are relatives of poison ivy, and their shells can create a terrible rash! - America Online's Fab Facts ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (Dale Galusha [2] (NoahsArk45 via The Funnies [3] (Sharon Unger) [4] (Kiri Christina Hyatt, also Craig Boardman, |