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WIT & WISDOM - September 28, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Every human being is intended to have a character of his own; to be what no other is, and to do what no other can do. - Channing Pollock [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: I'd like to share a short story. It was published in a German magazine. It was an interview with Gordon MacDonald: He said that each night he reads a story with his little daughter. One day he was going to be on a journey for some days, and in order to be a good father to his daughter, he taped some stories, so that his daughter could listen to one of these each night. When he came back, he was eager to hear his daughter's reaction. She answered: "Dad, the stories were fine, but it wasn't the same: I could not sit on the tape-recorder's lap." Sometimes I just like to sit on the father's lap. Blessings, David Schafer, Berlin, Germany [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: ONE LINERS Incontinence Hotline. . . Can you hold, please? Lysdexia: a peech imspediment we live to learn with. . . Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive. Which is the non-smoking lifeboat? ||||||//////__ __ __ __ __ The domino effect at work. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain. Oh, no! Not ANOTHER learning experience! The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep. Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. We do precision guesswork. My life has a superb cast, but I can't figure out the plot. [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. ... It was in one ear and out the udder. [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: The most distant man-made object from the earth is the Voyager 1 space probe, which recently outdistanced Pioneer 10 at 6.5 billion miles away. At this distance, it takes 9.5 hours for light or radio waves to travel to or from Earth. Voyager 1 has now been in space about 20 years, and it is still sending steady signals back home. It is now 70 times further from the sun than Earth is. From that great distance, its 20-watt radio signal is so faint that the amount of power reaching antennas on earth is 20 billion times less than the power of a watch battery! More about the Voyager and Pioneer missions: http://exosci.com/news/33.html [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] ("4 Thoughts of the Week" http://www.netastic.com/4tow/4tow.html) [2] (David Schafer) [3] (Funny-Bone http://www.spunge.org/funny-bone) [4] (Stan Kegel's "Profusions of Puns Gaggles of Groaners" groaners@mail.otherwhen.com) [5] (The Learning Kingdom http://www.LearningKingdom.com/join.html) |